In this world, when a man works diligently at perfecting his sport- he rightly receives a metal for a job well done. When a man puts in long hours at work, makes sacrifices, and proves himself to be an asset- he gets promoted. When a man fixes something, creates a masterpiece, or is a good friend he is regarded highly. But when a man sacrifices sports, promotions, friends, and crafts to being a dedicated husband, he’s made fun of. Why is it uncool to be a good husband? Why aren’t men helping one another with encouragement KNOWING how hard it is to actually be a good husband; how many sacrifices need to be made, how many hours of work that don’t get done? I’d venture to say it’s harder to be a good husband that it is to get a promotion at work; it’s even harder to be a Christ-like husband.
On TV, I’ve noticed that when a man is going to do something nice for his wife, and his friends find out- they advise him not to for various reasons. What’s more frustrating is that that husband usually listens. When a man is seen being sweet to his wife in public, he’s seen as whipped. On King of Queens, I’ve heard the lead character say that at the beginning of marriage a man needs to set the bar low, so that in 50 years when he buys her flowers it’ll be seen as romantic. Heaven forbid he does that in the first five years because than he’ll really have to get creative later on to come up with something bigger and better than flowers. I’ve even seen men get mad at other men on TV Sitcoms who out-love their wives, “making other husbands look bad”. The theme here is that if every husband did the bare minimum then all husbands will be “good” husbands. Since when is the bare minimum the goal?
If a man did the bare minimum at work, he’d be seen as lazy. If he does the bare minimum in athletics he’ll get fat, and never achieve much. It’s never been okay in any subject of a man’s life to just do the bare minimum, but somehow it’s acceptable when it comes to a lifelong commitment? Men who are in the NFL are only there until their body gets too old, men in the Olympics are only there until they’re replaced by better athletes, men are only good at their job until they retire. However, all that is way more important than being active in a marriage which lasts a life-time. How is this okay?
This is what I would love to see for my husband:
I’d love to see his boss encouraging the men to be stand-up husbands, who are sweet and caring. I want the top ranking man in every office going to his subordinates encouraging them to be great men at home, loving their wives and children better every day.
I’d love to see his co-workers talking about their wives at the lunch room with respect and love. I want each of them to keep the others accountable to getting home at a reasonable time and serve their wives. I want to see those men working hard to keep their priorities straight and seeing what’s really important.
I’d love to see pastors walking up to a married man and ask him about his marriage, just as if he was asking him about work. I’d love to hear more sermons empowering men to put aside these ridiculous ideas from the world and decided to be that husband that the other men get encouraged from. I want pastors to acknowledge how hard being a husband is and do what they can to help men in the congregation being successful at it.
I want to see prizes given to husbands who are outstanding and selfless. I want to see commercials about men being great husbands. I want to see a cologne advertisement of a man’s man being that of a simple guy who is madly in love with his wife of 30 years.
I don’t think there has ever been a time when men were highly regarded for being the best husbands they could be. I’m not disillusioned into thinking that one day I’ll wake up and the world’s view on husbands will be right. However, it’s something that has been ignored and out of balance for way too long and I’m tired of it. I’m not willing to stand by and watch young husbands get pushed around by older men who are terrible at loving their wives. It’s time for a change of attitude and I think it will start with the young men. It will begin with those husbands who are good at loving their wives and are courageous enough to boldly proclaim it. To love your wife in public could be exactly what this world needs to see. Men, prove a good marriage is not a thing of the past, good husbands are everywhere, and you agree it’s time for a change.
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