Do what you need to do,
but not before you need to do it.
Recently during a conversation with a new mom (like myself)
I realized how different her pediatrician's advice was from what my own had
said. Her doctor told her no water until 2 years old or after weaning and no
nuts or high allergy foods until toddler years. My doctor advised the exact
opposite saying water in a Sippy was fine- especially on those hot days and to make
certain I tried ALL the allergy related food before the 12 month time so his
body didn't create the antihistamines. Each doctor made their advice to us new
moms while stating their reasons why, the research to back them up, and what
could happen if we didn't abide. The stress of doing it wrong is overwhelming! When
it comes to allergies I can only suggest we each talk to our doctors and listen
to their advice.
However, when it comes to the other things such as
co-sleeping, naps, when the baby should be sleeping through the night, when to
take pacifier away, when to stop rocking them to sleep, etc; we need to take a
step back and think. Is it really so bad if I rock my baby to sleep every
night? So what if he develops a love for being held, coddled, and soothed to
sleep. When I have another baby and no longer can spare the time, then and only
then will I go through the 3 days of breaking the habit. But until it's
necessary, why not rock him?
We as new moms put so much pressure on ourselves to get the
baby sleeping through the night, taking
away the pacifier by 4 months, the blanky
after one year, nursing until they're two, and a million other do's and don'ts.
It's so easy to get caught in the "how do I do this right" mind frame
because, let's be honest, we desperately want to do this right. But what if
there isn't one way? Shocking! Each of us have different children, and God gave
each baby to a specific woman.
Therefore, what makes us think all these rules
should apply to every child? There is a reason my baby was given to me, and I
am his only mother. It's because God trusted me with this specific child, and
gave me the ability to know him and what he needs or doesn't need. Advice is
just that, advice. It means take what applies to you and your baby and leave
the rest. If your friend has a specific rule that her babies all lose their pacifier
at 5 months and are weaned at 10, then that's how she needs to do it. Her
babies were given to her, not by mistake. My baby loves his pacifier and I
don't feel the need to take it away from him right now- so I'm not going to.
This is where my new motto comes in. Do what you need to do, but not before you need to do it.
If you need your baby to fall asleep on his own, without rocking or soothing, then by all means get on the internet, ask
around, and get the ideas you need to help him do so. Obviously, some things
will work and other wont so there will always be a large element of patience involved.
But, if you don't need this and you
enjoy rocking him to sleep each and every time then why stop? I was afraid I
would create a bad habit and he'll never be able to fall asleep on his own.
Honestly, maybe this will be a hard habit to break.-but I don't really care. I
want to rock him, cuddle him, and pray from him while he falls asleep in my
arms. He won't be this little for long and I love our rocking time.
Night time nursing was the hardest thing for me. My son was
just plain hungry at night. I could feed him on both sides and give him a 4 oz
bottle and he'd still wake up at 2 am to nurse. I tried everything to break the
cycle but nothing worked. When he got a little bigger, around 8 months, he went from 2 -3 feedings to only one at
night. At 10 months he didn't nurse at all. I didn't realize how much I missed night
time nursing until it was over. I didn't do anything different, he just got
bigger, ate more before bed, and slept longer. When he isn't feeling well we
kick back up to nursing at night and I love it. I can't tell you how many times
I've been ashamed to admit my baby wasn't sleeping through the night by 6
months like most of my friends' babies. My mom was a big encourager to me in
this time. She simply said-"if he's hungry, he needs to eat. If you don't
want to nurse him then give him a bottle. He's hungry!" Just like that I reorganized
my thought process on night nursing. My baby was different and him being hungry
at night isn't bad, it's healthy. I know there are a million tricks out there
to help your 6 month old sleep through the night, but once I accepted he needed
me I honestly didn't mind it anymore. What I actually minded was that I felt
like I was "moming" wrong. I was afraid to mess up my child somehow
by night nursing so often. How silly!
All this to say, you have all the power. When it comes to
health risks and such, take a professional's opinion over mine. But when it
comes down to the simple things like night nursing, sleeping, and such- just go
with your gut. Do what makes you and your baby healthy and happy. Do what you
need to do, but not before you need to do it. I'll never look at my grown son
and wish I would have just slowed down and rocked him to sleep each night,
because I did!
