Too Busy for Rest

We, as humans, easily get tangled up in busyness; living in this hyper-speed world- it’s hard not to. Everybody is on the “go”, with “so much to do, so little time”. I think for women its worse, I dare to say. We almost never have an empty to-do list. Think about it, when’s the last time someone asked you, “what are you doing today?” and you reply, “I've done all I need to do, today I’m resting. “ NEVER! If we have nothing to do usually we feel guilty for procrastinating or being lazy.

Sometimes we have normal lives, not too busy, not to quiet- there’s time to do fun things and rest when we need to. Sometime, like me, we even have seasons of quiet time. It’s hard to accept them as seasons, because they’re often very uncomfortable. What do you do with your time? How do you rest when you aren’t tired from a hectic day? What is it even like to rest for a WHOLE DAY? Re-programing my mind to think rest instead of bored has been a challenge. But it’s revitalizing not to be tied down to a calendar and have all the time in the world to love my friends, serve them, take care of David, and spend lots of time with Jesus. These seasons are VERY rare and you may only get two in a whole life time!!! I’m living it up but also learning what not to do when this season ends for me. During my quiet season I've been able to see very clearly the women around me living in a fast paced life and missing it completely.

Think about this- how good of a witness are you to non-believers while running around with your head-cut-off? I don’t mean having the time to evangelize- I mean do you represent a life where God is in control?

Reading Jesus Calling on October 24^th, the author shared that Jesus created us for rest- why do we go on feeling guilty when we listen to the needs of our body? Jesus is saying for us to “walk with ME down a path of peace. I want you to blaze a trail for others who desire to live in My Peaceful Presence.” Our job is to show non-believers what peaceful living looks like? Do you do that?

Honestly, this rocked me! It makes totally sense. EVERYONE is too busy for their own life-so why would a non-believer trade their too busy life for my too busy life? There is nothing different about my life and theirs except I actually have MORE to do because I've added “religion” on my to-do list. From the outside looking in, they’d be crazy to trade.

This got me to asking, would a non-believer look at my crazy, stressed out life, where I don’t have any time to myself and say, “Now, there is a person who’s life I want, how do I live like her?” NO! They pity me! They say, “poor thing, she works so hard and never catches a break.” They might even go as far as to say, “God’s in control of her life, she says--but she looks miserable. I don’t want that God in control of my life.”  Non-believers who see Christians that are crazy busy, sympathize for us! Why shouldn't they? We’re too busy to notice that we've gotten too busy. Does our life show that God is in control- providing for our needs, or us spiraling out of control struggling to provide them ourselves? The Bible says if we’re walking with him, he’ll lead us down a path of peace (Psalm 23:1-3). Is your path peaceful? If not, you may not be walking on the right path.

This is what I mean when I say, is your life witnessing to non-believers? If we are living continually stressed out, and worry about our to-do list, we aren't showing the world what a joy it is to have the King of kings leading our lives. If God really is in control he’d be leading you down a peaceful path, even when everything seems to be falling apart. If your life has no peace in it- you better check yourself, because you’re not on the right one. God is peace and therefore if you’re following in his wake, you will be at peace even when you’re hard at work doing His calling.

What matters, and what doesn’t?

This is my question to you and me this morning. What really matters?

I think the answer changes with spiritual maturity and with years in life. If you asked me if a wedding mattered four years ago I would have said, “Absolutely it matters. It’s very important!” But having been married I realize the wedding was fun and my perfect day, but my marriage to David is what mattered. I knew that basic premise even then, but I also considered the wedding something that mattered very much. Watching videos of women who get proposed to and have the wedding on the same day was very frustrating to me. Why on earth would a man take wedding planning away from their bride? 

We’ve been married over three years and now I watch those videos and see what really mattered to those couples. It wasn’t the wedding that was so exciting for those women. They didn’t care where it was, what colors were present, how the ceremony was timed, or even what their cake looked like. They were so excited to be married to their love, the wedding was just the path to what really mattered. I knew that before I got engaged but the wedding mattered more than it should have. Now, I see it differently. Everyone deserves a special day to unite with their spouse, but how it goes is just the ceremony of starting their life together- it doesn’t matter in relation to our lives. Jesus will not hold you accountable for having thrown the perfect wedding but having started our marriage well-does matter. If stress from wedding planning affects family relationships, financial security for you and your spouse, or even your relationship as a couple- it isn’t worth it. The wedding eventually becomes a fond memory that you may hold dear but if your relationships suffer because of the wedding- it will be remembered as the most stressful time instead of the happiest. (I have to give a shout out to my parents here for keeping this in focus for me during wedding planning. My mom took care of ever anxiety and brought me face to face with what mattered daily. Because of her, “oh well” phrase and selflessness, my wedding day was perfect and our marriage started on the perfect note.)

I not only want to focus on trivial things such as event planning but on real life things. Let jump to children. Having a baby. When is the perfect time? How to prepare? What should be accomplished before starting a family? What would your family suggest? This is important, right? I’d say way more important that wedding planning. So, does this matter? I’d venture to say no. It actually doesn’t. If we changed the questions to reflect what matters it would go like this: Do you think God will judge you on how well you planned your family? Will he write in the book of life that you didn’t prepare well? Will he fault you for not having accomplished certain things before having children? Is getting advice from your family on when to have children important to God? Most of those would have the answer of no. He who creates life, certainly will take responsibility for granting it. No one conceives without the Lord allowing it. Plain and simple. Will we be judged for God giving us children? No. Should we take the first set of questions into consideration, Yes! But do not be anxious about it- for it simply doesn’t matter to God if you prepare, if you think you’re ready, or if your family thinks kids are a good decision. God will give you children or not when He believes it is time. Do you have control? Not really. God cares for his babies and gives them to people on purpose.

What matters? God and your relationship with him matters. If we thought about our eternal life with Him each time we face decisions, we would judge differently what to stress about; then probably wouldn’t stress at all. The only things that truly matter are those things that matter to God. What do you think?

What matters to God?

Are you having sex before marriage- your body is the Temple of the Lord, it matters.

Are you being responsible with your finances? It's God's money- that matters.

Are you serving your husband? Denying your wants and selflessly giving to him? That matters. God cares about you respecting your husband. 

Are you walking in sin? That matters, big time, to God.

Are you worrying? It is a sin. Sin's matter to God.

Are you loving your family, community, fellow Christians? They matter to God and therefore to us. 

What matters to God is all that matters. I am re-balancing my stance on what matters. 

Faith and Trust While Suffering

Just watched a very powerful sermon on faith, trust, and suffering. It's called When Sparrows Fall by Britt Merrick. He has a very real reason to speak on the topics and diligently tells his of struggling with God as his 8 year old daughter battle her fourth diagnosis of cancer. His sermon above is given from a heart of transformation as he walked the viewer through Matt. 10 and how to view our life's trials. I love that he isn't clique, actually quite the opposite, he's very real and powerful with his words. If you decided to watch the video be prepared to shed some tears- it's a dozy. If you're a note taker- have lots of paper ready. I took almost 5 pages of notes and had to pause the video multiple times to get some very good ideas he shared recorded (included below).

Some of the life changing elements Britt shares is that often times when faced with tragedy and suffering we ask the "why" question. In Matt. 10:5-31 Jesus tells his disciples that they are to go and preach his message, heal the sick, rise the dead, drive out demons, cleanse leprosy, and freely receive and give to people in His name. But he sends them with a word of caution- they will be hated, beaten, arrested, mistreated, and even killed. He ends saying, "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father (or without the care of your Father). Even the hairs on your head are numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Mat.10:28-31

Everyone knows the question on their mind... it's the same on ours when we face suffering. WHY?! Britt makes a point right here to say why is the wrong question. Jesus doesn't care about the why, answering it wont make you feel better or take away the pain. Who is what we need to focus on. Who will be there in the mist of suffering and trials. In the Bible wherever it says "Don't be afraid" it is always coupled with "for I am with you".
Isaiah 41:10  Isaiah 43:3  Joshua 1:9  Psalms 23:4  Jeremiah 1:8
In Matthew, Jesus says don't be afraid, nothing can happen to you apart from the Father. He will be with you. Don't be afraid, because when the worst comes knocking on your door, Daddy will be there with you.

Britt makes the point very powerful in his sermon, I will not be able to do it justice here. But I can share how it affects me and how grateful I am for his words. Here are a few main points that I made sure to get down word for word because they held so much meaning for me.

"All is not well in a fallen world"
Why are we surprised that the world is not heaven? Why are we so shocked when things go badly? Of course the world will have sufferings- we wouldn't be looking forward to paradise if it didn't.

"To Fear God is to revere, respect, honor, extol, and trust HIM enough to believe, by faith, that He is good sovereign, and present when life is hard, cruel and out of control." 
Amen! Faith doesn't end with, "as long as I get what I want", it starts with I believe this ^ about God and will continue to believe it REGARDLESS! To fear God is a goal of mine and I seek after it daily.

"Either we fear God, or we fear everything else"
I am a worrier- so I understand fear very well. I fear the unknown more than anything and work hard to be in the know. Doesn't work that way being a military wife however, and many things are just unknown. I would rather fear God then everything else; especially knowing that everything here on earth is temporary, God holds the eternal. I'd rather fear for my eternity than my temporary. I'd rather please God who controls my eternity than fear man who can only manipulate my here and now- which God still ultimate control over.

"Faith is trusting God's goodness despite any apparent evidence against it"
Gosh this is so good on so many levels!

"Living Faith is nothing else than a steadfast pursuit of God through all the disguises, disfigurements  and demolishes that see to abolish him"
This one takes some meditation but it is true to our world. We have to see things differently if we want to see them correctly. Most of the time Satan shows us the disguise in hopes to kill our faith in Him. With a little effort we can pursue the truth. Seek Jesus and you will find the truth (John 1:4; 8:32;14:6, Ephesians 4:21).

"In the most difficult times in life we want clarity but God give us himself and asks that we trust him, wanting answers and trusting God are in opposition of each other"
When I just want answers I find my faith wavering, my eyes closed, and struggling to hold onto my self-reliance for dear life. It is at those moments I fail miserably. Then Jesus lovingly picks me back up, dusts off my unfaithfulness, and I see clearly how he had a plan all along- and I went and trampled through it on my self-assurance. In retrospect I can actually see that I missed out on so many blessings. If only I would have had a little more faith I would have received positive outcomes instead of self-inflicted pain. But i'm better for those mistakes and I have learned so much. When I receive him in trials, with trust, I feel assured (even in the unknowns), happy, lighthearted, and unafraid. So much better!

Lastly,
Christ = Emanuel which means "God with us"
The Cross= Love, proof that God loves us
The Resurrection= proof that whatever happens to us here on earth isn't ultimate. Death doesn't have the final say because Jesus conquered it.

Proverbs Woman and A Husband's Confidence

David leaves today for training. He will be gone for a month- it's really hard to prepare my heart for a long distance relationship with my other half. Today, I was rocked by my morning bible study as  God reminded me that he has perfect timing. My study was on Proverbs 31:11 which says, "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." Following the scripture reading is a paragraph on what that can be interpreted as in today's world. If a man has full confidence in his wife he lacks nothing- nothing is more valuable than that characteristic in a wife. Since it's of such great importance, I needed to know what it means for David to have full confidence in me. (hold on tight, this is where it gets magical)

When a husband leaves he must be able to trust in his wife's abilities to carry on. He must be able to have full confidence that he can do his job where he's at and not have to worry about his wife back at home. He must be able to trust her with:
Money: Is she spending wisely
Children: Is she protecting them and bringing them up with wisdom? Is she able to handle them on her own? Is she being patient with them?
Home: Can she manage the house while he's gone? Is she able to do his jobs during is absence?
Reputation: Is she speaking well of him while he's gone, or is everything his fault?
Faithfulness: Is she turning to another man for emotional support/connection? Is she being above reproach and safe with her social choices?
Emotions: Is she a salve to her emotions, do they run her life? Can she function under the emotions of being without her husband? Is she self-controlled when under pressure?
Choices: Can he trust her to make the right choice for their family in urgent situations when he isn't there to consult?

Being a wife who a husband has full confidence in isn't so simple as being "trustworthy". It's much more involved than that. David needs to focus on training without the burden of not trusting that I will be fine while he's gone. This will also apply to deployments also. How can he focus on being safe and doing his job while he's so worried about me and the kids at home? If a man knows his wife is capable and strong in the hardship of temporary single-parenthood or loneliness, then he can do his job and get home safely.
I have a job to do-it's not easy, but it's not more than I can handle. My job is to bless David with the knowledge that I am fine, I can do this, I am strong, and I am not alone. It cannot be a lie or a cover, it must be truth. I need to be confident that I will be fine. Wallowing in self-pity but "pretending" to be strong is not strength. Genuine confidence in me is what David will have, because my strength will be renewed everyday by God and it will be genuine.