What matters, and what doesn’t?

This is my question to you and me this morning. What really matters?

I think the answer changes with spiritual maturity and with years in life. If you asked me if a wedding mattered four years ago I would have said, “Absolutely it matters. It’s very important!” But having been married I realize the wedding was fun and my perfect day, but my marriage to David is what mattered. I knew that basic premise even then, but I also considered the wedding something that mattered very much. Watching videos of women who get proposed to and have the wedding on the same day was very frustrating to me. Why on earth would a man take wedding planning away from their bride? 

We’ve been married over three years and now I watch those videos and see what really mattered to those couples. It wasn’t the wedding that was so exciting for those women. They didn’t care where it was, what colors were present, how the ceremony was timed, or even what their cake looked like. They were so excited to be married to their love, the wedding was just the path to what really mattered. I knew that before I got engaged but the wedding mattered more than it should have. Now, I see it differently. Everyone deserves a special day to unite with their spouse, but how it goes is just the ceremony of starting their life together- it doesn’t matter in relation to our lives. Jesus will not hold you accountable for having thrown the perfect wedding but having started our marriage well-does matter. If stress from wedding planning affects family relationships, financial security for you and your spouse, or even your relationship as a couple- it isn’t worth it. The wedding eventually becomes a fond memory that you may hold dear but if your relationships suffer because of the wedding- it will be remembered as the most stressful time instead of the happiest. (I have to give a shout out to my parents here for keeping this in focus for me during wedding planning. My mom took care of ever anxiety and brought me face to face with what mattered daily. Because of her, “oh well” phrase and selflessness, my wedding day was perfect and our marriage started on the perfect note.)

I not only want to focus on trivial things such as event planning but on real life things. Let jump to children. Having a baby. When is the perfect time? How to prepare? What should be accomplished before starting a family? What would your family suggest? This is important, right? I’d say way more important that wedding planning. So, does this matter? I’d venture to say no. It actually doesn’t. If we changed the questions to reflect what matters it would go like this: Do you think God will judge you on how well you planned your family? Will he write in the book of life that you didn’t prepare well? Will he fault you for not having accomplished certain things before having children? Is getting advice from your family on when to have children important to God? Most of those would have the answer of no. He who creates life, certainly will take responsibility for granting it. No one conceives without the Lord allowing it. Plain and simple. Will we be judged for God giving us children? No. Should we take the first set of questions into consideration, Yes! But do not be anxious about it- for it simply doesn’t matter to God if you prepare, if you think you’re ready, or if your family thinks kids are a good decision. God will give you children or not when He believes it is time. Do you have control? Not really. God cares for his babies and gives them to people on purpose.

What matters? God and your relationship with him matters. If we thought about our eternal life with Him each time we face decisions, we would judge differently what to stress about; then probably wouldn’t stress at all. The only things that truly matter are those things that matter to God. What do you think?

What matters to God?

Are you having sex before marriage- your body is the Temple of the Lord, it matters.

Are you being responsible with your finances? It's God's money- that matters.

Are you serving your husband? Denying your wants and selflessly giving to him? That matters. God cares about you respecting your husband. 

Are you walking in sin? That matters, big time, to God.

Are you worrying? It is a sin. Sin's matter to God.

Are you loving your family, community, fellow Christians? They matter to God and therefore to us. 

What matters to God is all that matters. I am re-balancing my stance on what matters.